The Invention of Cussing!

The scholarly significance of this can’t be overstated, but I believe I’ve discovered what prompted the first-ever curse word. 

I have a new bedsort of. It has the same mattress and box spring, but the cloth-covered headboard is new, and it has what bed-o-logists call a rail. The rail is like a footboard but encloses the sides of the bed as well. Pleasingly aesthetic, it is also covered in cloth.

This new sleeping environment wasn’t my idea, but I have to admit it looks nice and the rail mitigates the need of a dust ruffle. To men, a dust ruffle is a superfluous nonessential, but it is an absolute necessity for women.