A Letter to iPad Advertisers

Block iPad Advertisers

Dear iPad Advertisers:

I know that in this day and age, there is no more valuable currency than eyeballs on one’s product or service. I get it.

What I don’t get is why you’d want to piss off the owners of those eyeballs.

The other day, I had some time to kill, so I pulled up a game on my iPad. I have a handful of those that I favor. Thankfully, I bought some before one had to subscribe or endure ads to play for free.

On this occasion, however, I selected a newer game app that I don’t own. And because I don’t cotton to subscribing for stupid shit, I had to endure an ad(s).

Fortunately I’ve become fairly adept at positioning my finger over the X so that when the Skip Ad countdown timer goes to zero, I don’t waste a nanosecond hitting it; I’m spared viewing the rest of the ad for some unwanted product or service. And I’m proud to say, I’ve honed this procedure to the point where I don’t even see the propaganda on the screen. Congratulating myself on my quick reflexes, I get on with the time-waster of my choice.

But you know all this, don’t you?

And now you’ve made it more complicated to minimize my exposure to your annoying interruption.

In the arms race that is online commerce, you advertisers are always changing your tactics. It’s like the USS Enterprise rotating its shield frequencies so the Borg can’t lock on to the starship with their tractor beam.

Now, I can’t rely on the X showing up in its usual spot. Sometimes I have to go to another screen and back to get to the X. Dirty pool!

Despite your cleverness, I’m not only not watching your ad, I’m making up my mind to boycott the product — even if it’s a glass of ice water and I’m stranded in the Mojave desert.

In other words, it’s making me mad.

I think Taylor Swift said it best when she sang, “we are never, ever, ever getting back together!”


Sincerely yours,

Michael J. Foy



The End

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