I’ll Be Home For Christmas

I’m old enough to remember when plane travel was a fun and exciting event. The flight was right up there with the best highlights of a vacation. It was a party in the sky, where you actually got dressed up. Frank Sinatra even sang about it: Come fly with me, let’s fly, let’s fly away.

In modern times, no one sings about flying, unless it’s the blues. Got any catchy lyrics about shedding shoes, belts, etc. … for a security check? How about being shoehorned into a seat between a couple of Sumo-wrestler-sized passengers? Not fun. But until this year, your risk of dying from a virulent pathogen on a plane was acceptably low.

With holiday travel curtailed because of the pandemic, far-flung families are sacrificing get-togethers in favor of safety. But even with the obvious necessity of maintaining distance, there’ll still be disappointed hosts — particularly the parents of adult children.

Saturday Night Live had a sketch about adult children delivering the unwelcome news that they wouldn’t be home for Christmas. In uncharacteristic fashion, it was funny. You can see it here. (These days, it’s rare for me to laugh at SNL material. I think I’ve reached the age where I don’t understand their pop-culture references.)

But this sketch did make me laugh, because it was relatable. The parents did not react well to their children’s pronouncement. Just as in real life, they pretend to understand, but then subtly deploy the nuclear option.

As a weapon of last resort, guilt is ripped right from the fabled Parenting Handbook. I can imagine this option being so serious that, like the U.S. nuclear launch codes, it can only be activated when keys are turned simultaneously by both parents.

Do you recognize phrases like see what you’ve done to your mother? and your father will be so disappointed? Now you see why the option needs two keys — one for each parent.

I’ve never had children, but through empirical observation I conclude that this tactic must be universally known by parents. Is there some pediatrician ad that compels new parents to ask if the Parenting Handbook is right for them?

Anyway, I’m sure that wiser heads will prevail, and we’ll employ safety protocols for the holidays. So as the old song says, we’ll all be home for Christmas, if only in our dreams.

Let’s resolve to make up for it next year.



For other insights like this enter your name and email address at https://michaeljfoy.com/.
You’ll also get Instant Notification on New Releases from the author, Special Sales, Sneak Peeks and Giveaways.

Click here for novels and short stories by Michael J. Foy!

Speak Your Mind